She Never Cried…What I Learnt
I grew up with a “strong” Jamaican single mum who wanted to provide for me – to make sure I could survive the world. And she did her best.
But I never saw her cry.
I didn’t realise the impact that had on me till later. What I internalised was:
“Feeling things makes you bad. Feeling things means something's wrong with you that you should hide.”
So every time something happened – everytime I felt activated or emotional – I’d beat myself up about it.
Not just for the situation… but for having a feeling at all.
Compounded shame on top of any feeling often left me unbearably flooded… in seemingly mundane situations 😰🌀😰
Uncontrollable overwhelm between stints of suppression.
It wasn’t until I sat with those places somatically that I realised something simple but life-changing: Having a feeling doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It just means you’re human.
An emotion. A sensation. A wave of heat, a tight chest, a lump in the throat…
These are physiological experiences. The body’s way of processing the world 👁️
But we make it personal:
“I’m too much.”
“I should be stronger than this.”
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
And that judgment keeps us stuck.
When we strip it back and stop pathologising our emotions we can finally work with them and build a relationship with our body.
That's where we can start to strike the balance between:
(1) over analysing and meaning-making emotions, and
(2) dismissing, invalidating and/or discarding them.
It is in this place between where aliveness lies ✨✨ Where the emotion flows alongside the flow of and movement through your life itself!
Clarity then emerges. But first, we might need some tools…
👉🏽 Ready to explore through the body, not just the head? Check out the offerings.
